Prior to the birth of our daughter in the Philippines, there were not easily many cultural differences in the way reproduction was dealt with. Once our baby was born, though, there were some clear differences from my own former experiences with two children in England.
A detach Baby Room
Baby Gate
As soon as we got our baby home, then a major variation in baby culture was determined to all; Saffron had a crib already set up in a detach room. The Philippines tradition is to have the newborn in the parents bedroom, but often that can last for many years, and the parents of three children, for example, can end up with three dependent children sleeping in their room.
Once my wife had got used to the idea of a detach bedroom, she was insight of why I was adamant about it. We wanted a strong and independent child, and undisturbed nights once the night feeding had finished. Our decision to have a detach room caused quite a stir, and one of our first visitors once the baby was home speedily spread the news: "Saffron has her own room already." So, what would be a non event in England was a point of shock, fascination and even pity here in the Philippines.
As Saffron grew, though, every person soon started to appreciate her independence, will power and character. She also benefited from 12 hours of sleep every night from a very young age, undisturbed by parents, and came to love her room and her crib.
At 18 months we had a birthday party for my wife, and one of the guests was an army captain with three children, aged about 4 to 10 years. As he watched a very lively, determined and independent Saffron, having a great time in the orchad with the other children, he told me it had all the time been his ambition to have his children in detach rooms, but upon each birth, they had succumbed to the tradition, and still had three children sleeping in their room every night. His clingy youngest daughter was a unblemished variation to our daughter, and he rued the day they first gave in to the idea of having the first baby in their own bedroom.
A Degree of Over Protection
It is true that Filipinos make an gigantic fuss of babies, and all girls in particularly like to hold a baby and rock her to sleep. This can mean that the poor baby, who may be desperate to get back to her crib to sleep in a peaceful room, can be kept awake unnecessarily. That happens to a degree in England, but here it must be fabulous sometimes for the baby; mothers are often glad to have the baby passed around endlessly to be cared for.
Generally speaking, though, by comparison to England, Filipinos can be a bit overprotective in some ways. A good example was once Saffron started to want to lift her head. As her neck became a bit stronger, I encouraged my wife, when holding her, to allow Saffron to try and hold her head up, but all the time be ready to keep the neck.
The baby was old sufficient by then to hold her head up comfortably for a consolidate of minutes, then suddenly it would drop down. By allowing that, Saffron got fullness of neck muscle building exercise with no risk. However, if person else saw her head drop, they would be horrified, rush over, and show my wife the way it "should" be done; in other words do not allow the baby to move her head, but keep it firmly and hold it in place.
A few weeks' later, Saffron was able to keep her head with no problems and every person was amazed at how much she looked around the room observing objects and people. Agreeing to my wife, Filipino children never reach that stage at that age, which I would think is down to the extended over security of the neck. A baby does need keep of the neck, once she starts to move her head, but that need not go on so long it inhibits her progress. Truthful consideration while she is trying to move her head, and readiness to contribute keep once needed, should be sufficient to allow for safe amelioration of her neck muscles.
Differences in Discipline
Babies are testing the boundaries of what they can and cannot do from earlier than you may think. Early on, they cry when they need feeding or changing, or if they are uncomfortable in any way. Parents and house answer to that crying, and rightly so, to attend the baby's needs. It is later on it becomes less straightforward.
As the months pass, the baby becomes more aware of her surroundings, and she will learn how to use crying for attentiveness at times she wants attentiveness rather than needs it. That can be a difficult duration for parents and others who may have responsibility for the baby's care. You want the child to be happy, and you want to care for her properly, but being too responsive on every particular occasion, as the baby becomes a young child, can lead to discipline problems later on, as she uses crying to get her own way. That crying soon becomes shouting and tantrums, and provides the first real disciplinary tests for the parents.
The Filipino way tends to all the time answer with love and affection, and attend to the demanding child immediately, without giving a view as to whether the baby has a genuine intuit for crying.
In some ways that is not such a potential qoute with a docile Filipino baby, as they tend not to be strongly independent, assertive and demanding, while a half English Filipino does have such tendencies. Had we allowed our baby to grab our condolence and surrender every time she cried, she would be totally out of operate by now, at the age of dinky more than two.
As a baby becomes active, they need to be taught what they can do, where they can go, and what they can touch, among many other things. We taught Saffron as I would have done in England, simply by saying "no" to something she should not go near or touch, and encouraging her to contemplate those things she was allowed to.
Yet when my wife stopped her touching something in a neighbour's house, the owner, a 75 year old baby veteran, criticised her for saying "no" and was insistent she should never do so. As a Filipina, my wife respects her elders, but nonetheless, we persisted with our Anglicised discipline. As a result we have a very bright, and happy child who has steadily learnt what she can and should not do. Without that early discipline, polite as it was, I am sure she would be rampant by now.
Safety
Safety for a baby and a young child is obviously something that is topmost in most parents' minds. Given the love that Filipinos so openly show for babies, I would have predicted the security of the baby would be a strong driving force. Here we have something of a character conflict, for while a Filipina may be concerned about supporting a baby's neck longer than is necessary, when it comes to more ultimate dangers they can be less conscientious.
In an example close to home, I am insistent that, since our two year old is very inquisitive, intelligent, and adventurous, our front gate is all the time locked. We have a very busy road outside, and a 2 year old getting covering that gate will practically easily lead to great danger, and possibly death within a few seconds of getting beyond the gate. Yet we have great strangeness in development regular visitors understand; despite telling them many times that the gate has to be locked after them, they still forget.
Such lack of concern over the dangers of traffic is also reflected in the way children from a young age can be transported. It is not unusual to see a newborn baby being carried by a relative on the back of a motorcycle, or an older child of tiny proportions riding pillion on a motorcycle and clinging on to the driver. That is something you would never see in England.
There are, as you would expect, many subtle and sometimes determined differences in the middle of the English and Filipino cultures in caring for a baby, and those mentioned above are some of those that have been most determined to me as an English resident of the Philippines.
The overriding impression, though, is of the outpouring of love for babies in the Philippines. In England, you often here people complaining of babies and children being a nuisance and inconvenience, but not so here. The most important thing in baby care is love, and there is fullness of that here.
Cultural Differences in Baby Care - Part 2, Post Birth Baby Care Comparison
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